I've been thinking about my mom lately (well, truthfully, every day) and the valuable life lessons she instilled in us. One of her favorite sayings, a "Rita-ism," was, "Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are." This age-old wisdom has been a constant source of reflection throughout my life. I've engaged in numerous discussions on this topic and am frequently reminded of its importance. Lately, I have been reading about what influences human dynamics and how our social circle impacts our lives.
Have you ever reflected on the significance of the top five people in your life?
Your Inner Circle's Influence:
In the words of Jim Rohn: "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Those five people significantly impact how you think, act, and, ultimately, how successful you are. If you spend time with negative, unhealthy, or unsuccessful individuals, your life will likely follow a similar path. So, who are these individuals in your life?
Positive vs. Negative Influence:
The people you choose to be around can either uplift and empower you or bring you down. Thinking about your circle - are they a source of inspiration, motivating you to learn and grow? Do they actively contribute to your personal growth and drive you to achieve your goals? Conversely, are you often surrounded by individuals who, through microaggressions, erode your confidence, filling your life with negativity and doubt? Reflect on whether these people energize you or if being with them keeps draining you, and you feel stuck in their continuous cycle of complaining and maintaining the status quo.
Recognizing Different Roles:
Acknowledging that not everyone needs to be part of your inner circle is important. Some individuals may not share your interests, values, or goals, and that's perfectly acceptable. They can still have meaningful roles in your life, but from a different perspective, perhaps in your outer circle - as an acquaintance.
Making the Difficult Shift:
Changing your inner circle can be challenging and even uncomfortable. However, it is a step towards surrounding yourself with like-minded people, supporting your ambitions, lifting you up when needed, and ultimately helping you be a better version of yourself.
Over the years, I've rearranged my inner circle's composition, occasionally finding myself on the periphery of others' inner circles. This flexibility has allowed us to create room for individuals better suited to our paths and personal development. Although I think of them fondly and I celebrate their successes, this shift has been essential for personal growth.
Criteria for Selection:
Who should make your five-person squad? Here are my criteria for the chosen 5.
Shared Values: Look for individuals who share your core values. Shared beliefs create a strong foundation for relationships and help you work towards common goals.
Positive Outlook: Seek out those who see the glass half full versus empty. Squad members will inspire you to see opportunities despite adversity and encourage you to remain hopeful.
Loyalty: When someone is part of your inner circle, the expectation is that you can trust them with sensitive information, and they reciprocate your level of care and concern.
Challenge and Growth: Your inner circle should include individuals who challenge you to think and give you the hard truths. Giving honest feedback is a valuable asset, and it should motivate you to push your boundaries and persevere through challenges.
Enjoy their Company: You look forward to seeing them. They make you laugh; you have engaging conversations and experience a strong sense of being heard and supported, especially when facing challenges.
In Conclusion, Success often stems from the deliberate choice of surrounding oneself with other successful individuals with similar aspirations and values.
Remember, settling for mediocrity as the average of five individuals is not a path to success. Instead, strive for excellence, and let your inner circle become a powerful force driving you towards achievement and personal fulfillment.
It's clear to me that my mother was right – "birds of a feather flock together."
Let me know who is in your inner circle -
Ann